Mindfulness as defined by Jon Kabat Zinn is, “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” As stress levels have risen, people have been turning more towards mindfulness practices such as meditation, journaling, breathwork, mindful eating, and purposeful movement (such as yoga) in order to find peace and clarity within their minds. When done intentionally, this contributes to a collective shift towards consciousness. It seems mindfulness is everywhere in the wellness space and if you search “mindfulness practices” a plethora of options will come up (and I believe all of them are good to incorporate). But there’s one thing that seems to not be mentioned as much and that is surrounding yourself with people who are also on the path of consciousness.
Mindfulness Hack: You Are Who You Surround Yourself With
It is possible you have heard that you are an average reflection of the 5 people closest to you and whom you spend the most time with. This means it is in your best interest to be selective about the people who you give most of your time and attention to. Take a look at your inner circle now. On a piece of paper, write down the names of the 5 people who you dedicate most of your time to. Do you talk about mindfulness with them? Are they interested in looking inward and creating a rich inner life? If you were to speak about mindfulness or consciousness with them, would their ears perk up or would they scoff? This is very important. Be completely honest with yourself. If the 5 closest people to you are all going in a different direction, it does not mean you need to cut them out of your life, but it is within your best interest to seek out people who seem to be going in the direction you are intending to go.
Where Can I Find People who are Interested in Mindfulness?
Look at your current community and where you spend your time. Is there anyone at work who you may connect with? Are you a member at a yoga studio? Do you attend the gym or fitness classes? Are you a regular at your local coffee shop? Start by looking at the places where you are already a part of and that feel in alignment to you. The places you are attracted to have probably attracted other like-minded individuals and chances are, even if very brief, you may have made some connections at these places. If so, ask someone to get coffee. Strike up conversation with someone or take a conversation deeper than the simple “Hi, how are you? Good.” Attend workshops and whatever more intimate offerings from these spaces, even if you go alone. In fact, going alone may be preferred. Make certain classes non-negotiables so you can be part of the particular group which attends said classes. And when you do all of these things and attend these classes, ground yourself. Go into yourself and then interact with others from the truth of who you are.
Why is Mindfulness Important?
Anyone who is on the path of consciousness knows that it is actually quite lonely. Once you begin to cultivate self-awareness, deep self-love naturally comes with it. You will begin to see all the areas of your life that are no longer serving you. This can include relationships, jobs, homes, communities of people, and anything else that was or is part of your life before your consciousness journey. This can be very overwhelming and scary. It has lonely moments and many moments where you question it all and why you ever began in the first place. Having friends, or people who you can call on to help you process, look inward, and trust is integral. This journey is not for the faint of heart and having people who are walking alongside you make it all the more possible to continue onward.
Okay So I Need New Friends. How Do I Vet Them?
Before you embark on all of this, I absolutely recommend incorporating practices that allow you to go inward and connect to you. Practices such as exercise or mindful movement, meditation, and journaling. I say this because you need to trust yourself when it comes to tuning into your energy when you are around other people or when you are intending to invite others into your space. You can sense how you feel when you are in the presence of another. Does your nervous system feel regulated or dysregulated? This requires an awareness of self. There are certain conversations where you may sense someone’s openness to all the possibilities of life. Those include conversations about work, relationships, and any goals/aspirations, etc. You don’t need to force the conversations in any which way, but more so be attuned to where the conversations go and if it’s appropriate to bring a conversation in a particular direction.
Mindfulness Coaching
When you consider bringing people into your life who are on the consciousness journey, you might want to consider hiring a coach or mentor who has mindfulness certification or extensive knowledge centered around mindfulness. As I mentioned earlier, the choice to walk this path is not easy and without effort. YES, if you stay on the path eventually you will experience joy, freedom, fun, and bliss which comes with living an aligned life. But this takes time, so you must be patient and steadfast. A coach can expedite the process, helping you to make changes in real time. And like a therapist, can reflect back to you where you are missing the mark and where you can make more conscious choices, therefore constantly giving you feedback and where to course correct. *Please bear in mind, coaching is not a replacement for therapy. You should always seek out help from a mental health professional if you are dealing with any mental health issues and/or diagnoses.
Mindfulness is not simply a “hack.” By inviting more mindfulness into our lives, we are creating the space for deeper meaning and self-awareness towards living a conscious life. This can feel lonely and at times, very challenging. The good news is that this path does not need to be walked alone. Finding people to walk alongside you can give you more opportunities for feedback and extra encouragement and lovin’ along the way.
